Death is not the End, Only the Beginning
by ArtemisXD
Summary: What happens when Clark wakes up in her Cell at the Ark and realizing she was killed and went right back to step one of just before she went to the earth. She really thinks life is fucking with her. A Clexa Story. Let's see if she can try again without majorly fucking up this time. -haitus-
1. The Subway

I sat quietly yawning watching Jaha pace back and forth. So this is the subway hold they were talking about when they first landed. How interesting. I looked at the chain attached to my ankle. What a predicament. I put my cheek and my hand as I stare off into space. My heart was beating a mile a minute waiting for the moment when I'll get to see Lexa again. I thought about the past few months after landing once again. The fact that all of that stuff basically happened again I knew it was fate but this time I didn't let my feelings get the better of me with Finn and I didn't let Bellamy ruin things. But this time I was smart enough not to get caught by the mountain people…instead I ran into Gustus, unbelievable, that creeper catching me unaware like that. Well I guess it was better than the mountain men knowing who I was. I was going to murder every last one of them and this time I was going to enjoy it and this time…I wasn't going to let Lexa fall through my fingertips.

"Jaha…would you stop pacing…you're driving me insane." I croak out. I had been here longer then he has and Marcus hasn't even shown up yet…my kingdom for a glass of water god damn it. He looked at me wondering if I was okay when all of a sudden the gate above us opened and Marcus fell in. I kind of smirked when he fell on his back in the most agonizing way. Grounders came in and chained him to the wall and I sighed again. That damn bastard didn't bring any water. How long has it been now…

Marcus' eyes widened when he saw both of us, I rolled my eyes and curled up closer to the dark corner ignoring their bickering. It was going to be a long 2 days.

"Marcus would you stop trying to take your chain off…it's not going to happen." I heard Jaha say. I opened an eye weakly. My lips chapped beyond belief.

God fucking damn it…do they not shut up.

"It's been two days Thelonious. Without water or food." I scoffed.

They both looked at me. I was lying looking up at the ceiling back against the wall and arms and legs sprawled. "I've been here longer then you two…I think I'm probably going to die soon without water." I said scratchly. Just for the love of god…shut up…"

I closed my eyes again and they said nothing. Just then the gates opened and I felt my heart skip a beat. I tried my best to look over and my breath literally stopped when I saw Gustus in the commander's attire. I tried my hardest not to snort at how it was 3 sizes too small but said nothing. I covered the smiled that had gripped my face and sighed exasperatedly. I then saw Lexa and I couldn't stop the mirth from showing on my face at how she limped her way near me. I covered it up with a cough when she looked at me as I keeled over to cover my face. Then grounders were on me and Jaha since we both didn't stand up I was gripped and basically held up by a grounder and I instantly wanted to faint as I breathed raggidly. Jaha was beat the hell up but I was held as arm's length as Lexa skittishly came near me and looked me in the eye as she held up a glass of water to my mouth.

Sweet Jesus…she was an angel even if she was pretending to be one at this exact moment. I took a quick gulp and closed my eyes in wonder. It was like gold. She lowered the cup and the grounders dropped me right back on my ass. I made no sound and I saw her eyes flash with something close to actual respect but there was anger there too. I think she knew who I was. I ignored the words Gustus said as I laid my head on the ledge that Lexa slowely sat on and then he dropped the dagger as he made his dramatic exit. I rolled my eyes almost smiling.

I heard the two idiots bickering again but decided to take a quick nap all the same. I woke to eyes staring at me and I opened mine to find Lexa looking at me but then looked away as she bowed her head. Wow she was a good actress. I struggled to sit up as Jaha and Marcus were finally getting somewhere with the argument.

"There has to be another way Thelonious we can't kill each other."

I rolled my eyes and before Lexa could open her mouth to speak I spoke for her.

"There isn't and if you think there is then you're more imbecilic then I first thought."

All three of them looked at me as I rubbed my tired eyes.

"If we kill each other it's murder." Jaha said.

I sighed exasperatedly.

"No…its justice." I found myself saying. I put my hand over my mouth in surprise. Lexa had a shocked look on her face as did the other too. She was surprised if not impressed.

"It's sacrifice." I continue. I stood up on shaky legs and moved towards the dagger on the ground. I picked it up and looked at it longingly. Remembering this was Lexa's dagger.

"You have no idea what has been happening here, either of you." I gripped the dagger in my hands.

"You…" I pointed the dagger at Jaha. "Sent us down here to die. And you…" pointing at Marcus have fantasies of everything ending up as a happy ending…well guess what…it never does…this whole place is hell." I turn around facing the door. "I hate both of you and I hate everyone that decided they could march right back onto Earth like it was nothing. Not even realizing there were people here." I laugh then but it was hollow. "You think it'll be that easy? Persuading the Commander…and by the way…did no one notice the fact that guy's armor was 3 sizes too small…or am I the only one…" there was silence behind me. I looked back and Jaha's and Marcus' mouths were fallen open. I felt woozy again and hit the ground with a thud. I looked up at Lexa and her face was completely neutral but intrigued.

"Fucking idiots." I said quietly. I crawled my way back over to my corner passing Lexa but stopping. I took the cup of water again and put the dagger next to her hand as I nodded to her and then went back to my corner as I downed the cup of water all while crawling only using my arms. It was probably fucking amusing but I didn't care. I got to the wall and dragged myself up unable to feel my legs at the moment.

"What is your name?" I jumped and my eyes widened realizing who had spoken finally. I looked up and Lexa was staring at me intently. I looked at Jaha and Marcus and they seemed uninterested in anything except their constant bickering.

"Clark…" I said quietly. "What is yours." I asked almost whispering. I saw her battling over something inside of her and then she moved closer to me until her knee was touching mine. We both felt a spark and I gasped. I felt tears coming to my eyes at all the memories that passed through me but said nothing. I looked away and felt the stare on my face as if she recognized me but it was impossible right? I looked back up to her and was surprised when I saw her eyes had unshed tears as well. "Lexa…My name…is Lexa." We shared a fleeting moment. "It is nice to meet you Clarke of the Sky People." I wanted to grab her right at this moment but I didn't knowing what was coming next. I saw Jaha move and I stood up so fast Lexa went for the dagger but I grabbed it first and put my hand on her breast bone as I whipped around and stood between Jaha and Lexa with the daggers blade to his throat.

"Don't…move…" I said calmly.

"Clarke…she is the answer for us all to live…we have to take her hostage."

My hand tightened on the blade as he took a step closer and I moved the hand that was behind me to Lexa's shoulder as I pushed her a little towards the door as I backed up with her behind me. Lexa's hand gripped the arm that was on her shoulder tightly and I felt her anger. I knew she could take care of herself but I also knew we had to wait for Gustus to show up.

"Marcus…if you truly want peace with the Commander…talk sense into Jaha." I said. "I don't want to have to kill this idiot." I moved closer to Lexa growling softly as I supported her with her fake limp. The shaking of my body stopped at this moment with the adrenaline rushing through my body. "I want peace too Jaha. But holding someone hostage is stupid. I'm with Marcus. Even with the fake commander out there talking for the real one I know in my heart the real one will hear reason and understanding for this alliance. I haven't spent these months trying my best to not kill these people we barely know even if they are trying to kill us to let this stand with you and your despicable actions. YOU have no idea how hard I've been working to keep mine and these people safe from the stupidity of our people." I spat.

"I have no blood on my hands." I said. "Not this time." I all but whispered. I felt Lexa stiffen in my arms and I let her go. She took a step back unable to comprehend what she heard. I felt sharp pain thinking about how all the grounders and my people were knocked out. I didn't have Raven use the rocket fuel to kill those 300 grounders. Knowing exactly what would happen when the mountain men came. They took them all away.

"I…I…" I looked at Jaha and Marcus and finally felt the raw pain at was going to happen. "I was the leader of the 100 you sent down to earth. And they as well as 300 of these people's family members, friends and loved ones were stolen by the mountain men. I chose not to have my people fight them." I said loudly. "I chose not to fight the people that have the right to this land. And I plan to save every last one of our people as well as theirs from that mountain because I know how."

Marcus and Jaha were staring at me like I had grown a second head and Lexa looked at me completely at a loss as well.

"Clarke…" I look at Marcus and he is completely dumbfounded. "You mean to tell us…all this time down here you have not once laid a hand on any of these people? How is that possible…" I shook my head. "Have you not thought about the whole reason why we were a threat in the first place Marcus…WE who fell from the sky?" I said firmly. He didn't have an answer and I snorted rolling my eyes. I handed Lexa the dagger staring into her eyes as she timidly looked at me.

"It's simple…we are…or were a threat to them because of how different we were…they had no idea what we were capable of…and the fact some of us were stupid…and decided to take matters into our own hands…" I glared at Jaha.

"The fact that one of the 100 killed 18 of their own…they need blood. Blood for Blood…that is their way…" I said quietly. I didn't dare look at Lexa as I went and grabbed the water jug and chugged the water and finally sighed in satisfaction. "Even though I don't know why I trust them. The people that you call savages they survived earth for 97 fucking years!" I all but yelled. "THEY." I loudly stated. "not US. What else did you expect? A fucking welcome home party?seriously?" Jaha and Marcus looked completely sheepish at that statement.

"You as well as the rest of my people are fools." I snarled. God I was on a rampage at the stupidity of my family and friends. "I don't even care anymore if I die." I walked to the other side of the room back to my corner and sat down heavily leaving the three other people in the room completely shocked. "I want an alliance so that I can save my friends…and also…to show we aren't the grounder's enemy…and…I want everyone that isn't sky or grounder in that mountain dead." I said with so much venom I even surprised myself.

I put my head in my arms as I pulled my knees to my chest. "They are using my friends and the grounders as medicine…and killing them…that's what I witnessed before I was captured." I said with so much anger and sadness that even I believed myself. I only witnessed it in the last life but I know this life was the same as last time so I can use my last life's experiences couldn't I?

I heard the scuffled and I sighed heavily as I watched Jaha do his thing by grabbing Lexa and holding her at knife point. Marcus calling for reason and I just sat there quietly as Gustus walked in and then smiled when Lexa told him she had it and flipped Jaha. She was staring at me and didn't look away even as gustus took off his armor and put it on Lexa.

"I have heard all I wish to know." She said with a stoic face.

Marcus looked dumbfounded. "You're the commander?" he asked.

I snorted and smiled. "Duh dumbass." I rolled my eyes and everyone glared at me.

"oops…sorry…" I put my cheek in my hands and Lexa…if looks could kill…I'd be dead. I'm totally fucking this up aren't I. I couldn't help but smile again. It was good to see her even though she didn't know me at all. Yet. I knew I was freaking her out with the smile on my face like I didn't care that there was like 5 grounders looking to kill us.

She turned back to Marcus and Jaha. "Your words for peace are true. I will hear your terms." She said to Marcus "As for this one…I think I would like to send a message." Lexa said. I watched as Jaha was beat to smithereens and then taken away. I didn't flinch or move a muscle. Lexa walked up to me and I stared at her boots and then looked up at her. She didn't look very happy but I knew better. She was at a loss on what to do with me. She crouched down so we were eye level staring at me and I stared back unblinking. "Who are you Clark of the Sky People." She whispered. I saw all the questions swirling through her head wondering if I was a reincarnation of the one she lost. I shook my head and smiled apologetically. "I don't even know myself."

She took that answer and then stood up and turned back around going towards the door.

"Take her to my chambers. I have words to speak with her."

I was smacked over the head with a blunt object. And the world went dark.


	2. The Beginning

**Hey Guys, **

**Thanks for all the favorites and follows that means a lot to me :) and the awesome person that was my first review on this story. Yeah there is definitely a lot of potential for a story like this. I was inspired by another writer that had the same idea so I thought I could have a crack at it. I'll do my best as well as achieving something different than the other writer's story. They opened up a whole knew dimension that no one thought of but them. My obsession is definitely The 100 at the moment. The end of season 2 was a heart breaker but that won't stop me from wanting Lexa and Clarke to end up together so why not change a few things right? LOL. All of you obsessing over this ship. I feel you. Let's hope we see Lexa again in season 3. We all just go yell at the writers for that season on social media xp kay? Kay. Anyway enough of my blabber mouth. On with the next chapter :)**

_I was dreaming. That's all that it was. A long fucking dream of pain and destruction. I stared up into space as we orbited the Earth once again. I felt a warm tear drop travel down my face as I screamed realizing none of it had been real. But then mom was there. Standing outside of my cell as the door whooshed open. _

_My eyes opened in wonder. No way. I was going to be sent to Earth once again. It was a second chance. I thought of Lexa. I felt a thrill of excitement. There was no way I was going to have what happened happen again. I was going to do this right. I grinned as I raced out of my cell running right into my mouther's arms. She was shocked to say the least but said nothing as she handed me my clothes that I took happily. I knew exactly what we needed to do. What I needed to do. I spoke to my mom and she was able to slip me a combat knife along with a compass attached to the handle and a few survival things inside the handle._

_We were dropped and when I saw Finn again I felt a pain inside me, but I wasn't going to make the same mistake again. I looked away and told them before he even got out of his seat to stay seated. We arrived with the 100 fully alive. I didn't stay long within the camp. I had some recon to complete. I didn't much care about the 100 that was with me because I knew their fate was inevitable as long as they didn't kill any grounders I left them alone to do whatever they wanted. Including Bellamy. I knew he would take care of it while I was away. I also knew I wouldn't get a chance to talk to my mom until she saw the bracelets being destroyed and send Raven. So I didn't even try and fix anything to do with the camp until much later when the Grounders came. _

_All I wanted was peace between Lexa and I and to achieve that. We weren't killing one damn grounder if it was death of me. And even then I'd try again. I walked silently through the trees and noticed the scouts of Anya's group. I smirked. This was going to be too easy. I raced back to camp and told everyone what I had seen and immediately they looked to me to fix this. It felt like hell all over again as everyone began to prepare. This time though. We weren't blowing a bridge, we weren't killing 300 grounders. We were going to wait for the mountain men to come pick us all up instead. Well everyone except me of course._

_When the time came to get out when everyone else fell asleep I did and ran. All the way to Ton DC and I was proud when I hadn't been caught. I saw down watching the camp for a bit and that's when I was grabbed by big old Gustus I got knocked over the head. _

"_You idiots! I said bring her to my tent! Not knock her out so now she has to lay there until she wakes up! I should kill you for your stupidity!"_

I felt my head throbbing as I opened an eye and looked over towards the tent flap as Lexa screamed in Trigedasleng at the man that had knocked me out apparently.

I groaned as I sat up and rubbed my head.

"Lexa…he didn't kill me so you don't have to kill him. Just hit him over the head with a blunt object and knock him out." I said. "That's exactly what he did to me." I grumble out.

She whipped around realizing what I said. "Leave us!" she screamed without even having to look at the idiot that had hit me. She walked swiftly towards me and my eyes widened as she put a hand on my head where the bump was as she fell to her knees next to me on the bed. "Where else are you hurt?" she said so quietly it was like she didn't believe I was here. I was in complete shock. "Um…" I stumbled not understanding the way she was acting. "Clarke…I remember everything…"

I took a sharp breath in.

"What…"

"I remember…All my people that were killed…and yet here we are again…" she was so confused and I couldn't help but laugh and cry realizing I wasn't the only one that had this burden to bare. I grabbed her and hugged her so tightly the breath left both of us in the intensity. "Lexa…Lexa." I said brokenly. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. "Clarke…I'm so sorry…" she said softly.

"I shouldn't have…I didn't know."

I nodded as I hugged her tighter. "I know."

"After I left you I sent scouts to see what was going on. You had killed all of the people in the mountain and then they followed you when you left the group but then…a shot sounded and you dropped…just like that Clarke…you were dead…"

I was shocked.

"Emmerson…He must have gotten out…"

I felt Lexa nod.

"Lexa…we have to keep this as close to last time as we can…no one must know…"

"I completely agree."

I let go and looked at her.

"I thought…I was never going to see you again Lexa. Everything that happened…" I shook my head. "I want to change it all…"

I felt Lexa's hand on my face.

"Clarke…the things you are doing to change what happened…before I even remembered…inside the cell. I was astonished by you. The things you said." Her thumb rubbed my cheek.

"How did you…" I said quietly.

"When our knee's touched."

I smiled then. "How hard did you try to keep a straight face after?"

I saw Lexa try hard not to smile.

"Very hard Clarke."

I grinned and pulled her in for another hug.

"It's good to have you back."

"And you Clark of the Sky people."

"We are going to kick ass this time. No mercy." I said with so much conviction I felt Lexa lower her head to mine.

"No weakness."

I nodded.

We held each other a little longer.

"Are you ready to do this all over again?"

I heard Lexa sigh.

"Yes…Our Alliance begins with Finns death once again."

"Yes…I could care less about him this time…I only wish I had stopped him and I thought it wouldn't have since we didn't…I mean…I changed a lot of things…" I blushed red and Lexa watched me quietly.

"You do not love him this time?"

I nodded my confirmation.

"Yes…we didn't get close at all and yet it happened once again…but I guess it was his fate…the starting point to our alliance."

She nodded and then finally let go and helped me up from the bed.

"Clarke…it is time to repeat fate."

I looked at her as her mask was put back in place.

"_Of course Commander."_ I said in Trigedasleng.

I saw Lexa's lips curve at the ends but then it was gone as she turned around and stalked out with me following behind.

This was going to be a lot more entertaining than last time. I smirked.


	3. The Alliance

**Hey guys! Just finished up work for the night gotta do it all over again tomorrow but fuck it :) gotta make that green. If anyone hasn't yet I did a one-shot while at work. Clexa of course. Couldn't get it out of my head. Go figure. Thank you for the guests that reviewed last chapter and for all the new fav's and follows. I love you all. Hope you like the chapter :)**

We did our parts well. Lexa sent me and Marcus to go talk to our camp and Raven had been the one to be captured this time and escaped the mountain. She came running back telling me everything that had happened. I knew already but I played it off very well. She was the reason why Finn raged at the village. I nodded and took off to find Octavia and as to be expected there was Lincoln. He roared with anger as he was chained up and I ordered him to be chained to the ground while I helped keep him alive.

"We need to get my mother." I said calmly. I rushed out and went myself to speak with her and tell her what needed to be done. She agreed and then I walked straight to the waiting commanders camp right outside our camp.

"If you even look at her the wrong way I will slit your throat."

I stared at Gustus with complete hate as he walked through the tent flap announcing my presence.

I walked in and there was Lexa exactly as I remember here twirling her dagger and everything. She looked up at me and I saw a twinkle of mirth behind her eyes but then it was gone.

"So they sent a child to do their dirty work once again." She said calmly.

It was going to be different this time with everything that has changed.

"Yes. I have received word from a friend who escaped the mountain-"

"She lies…no one has ever escaped the mountain." Indra hissed with anger.

Lexa and I both refrained from rolling our eyes as I refrained from replying with I have. I remained quiet.

"She has." I said. I then reached into my pocket but then stopped when everyone went to draw their weapon. I eyed Lexa and she was having a hard time trying not to be amused at the people around her. I role my eyes as I pull out one of Anya's braids and held it up. Both of us felt the pain once again at her loss. I walked up to her and handed it to her again.

"Anya kept my friend alive. She was coming back here to tell you herself that we needed to have an alliance…I knew you would want to have this. My friend told me she said you were her second once."

We both looked into each other's eyes as I backed away to my spot.

"I know we can get our people from the mountain if we just had this alliance."

Lexa played it off well as she looked down at the knife in her hands as she sets Anya's braid to the side.

"I have not heard the reason for you coming here Clarke of the sky people…what exactly do you have to prove that I need you."

She looked up at me then and we stared each other down knowing exactly what I was going to say next.

"I can heal reapers."

Before Indra could even scream that I was lying once again Lexa put her hand up to stop her.

She got up and walked up to me and got right in my face, both of us not faltering.

"Show me." She said.

I nodded.

When we got to the drop ship I didn't even look back at Lexa and I made my way up the steps hearing Octavia already.

Everyone was silent as Lincoln laid there basically dead and then we all reacted like last time but this time I grabbed the electrically baton twirling it and stabbed down on Lincoln's heart zapping him to life.

I smirked and looked up at Lexa who was smiling too without anyone seeing her. We looked away and proceeded back down to the Grounder camp, no one followed us back into her tent and then I finally lost the composure I had and covered the huge grin on my face.

"Oh wow…that was priceless…it was better the second time without the worry of you killing us." I said as I looked back at Lexa. I was suddenly slammed into the side of the tent and I gasped as Lexa grabbed my hip and hair as she pinned me. I felt her breath ghost across my lips as we stared into each other's eyes.

"Trusting you like this…it's like the only people that matter in this life is us..." She said.

I wrap an arm around her waist and gripped the side of her neck as I drew closer to her.

"It's because we know how to fix things now that we know what is going to happen at the end of this Alliance. We…" I motioned between us. "This is going to happen because nothing is going to be in our way this time." I said breathlessly.

She breathed out and then kissed me like the first time we kissed. She was waiting for me to push her away again but I wasn't going to. Not this time. I pulled her too me and kissed her deeper and she gasped softly enough to be able to run my tongue against her bottom lip. Her tongue touched mine tenderly and then I felt her hands go to my hair as I gripped the back of her jacket. She bit my bottom lip before pulling back and leaning her forehead on mine.

"This is going to happen…" She said.

I nodded and that's when I saw the first toothy smile grace her face.

"There's no obstacles this time Lex." I said quietly. She snorted and that's when I also heard the first laugh I have ever heard from her even if it was fleeting and quiet so that no one could hear from outside.

"If only I knew that were true." She said amusingly.

I snorted too.

"It's better than nothing."

She smiled again.

"Yes."

She kissed me again and I couldn't help the flutter go through my chest.

This was what I had fought for, to be in these girls arms, for real this time.

We stood there and then she leaned back as her Commander face came back.

"Now all we need is Finn." She said quietly.

I nodded.

This wasn't going to be easy….again…


	4. Mountain Men

**You all are probably going to murder me by the end of this chapter but its with love** **:D**

Raven slipped the knife into my sleeve. "If she doesn't agree…kill her." I looked behind me at the grounders camp as I nodded and went down my legs felt like lead now that I had to do this over again but I didn't stop.

Indra glared at me as I pushed and felt blood pool in my shirt.

"Let her pass." I didn't look up as Indra took the spear away and I stared at Lexa.

"You bleed for nothing." Her eyes were expressing something different.

I felt the blade sink into Finn once again as he says thank you to me and the ear piercing scream as Raven loses it again. I felt the warm tears like a slap to the face as I turned away and walked into Lexa's tent with the blood on my hands. A soul I couldn't save. Again.

This time it wasn't my mother that came in but Lexa and the grief that ran across her face said miles more then what my mom's would have. She moved swiftly to me and took my bloody hand in hers as she kissed the tears that leaked against my face as I broke down. It was just as bad as the first time I had to do it. She held me close before letting go and walking out.

We had to face what was coming.

Arriving at Ton DC was something else knowing exactly what was going to happen I sighed. When Gustus went to check Raven I moved in front of her glaring up at him. He told me to move and I crossed my arms. He pushed me out of the way and I watched as he placed the poison on Raven I rolled my eyes. This had to happen too.

I stormed into the underground dining room and Lexa had a grave look on her face as well.

When Gustus hit the table it went exactly like how it should have and I waiting for the appropriate time before revealing Gustus' betrayal.

Raven thanked me again for killing Finn. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"This can't be the only plan we have against the mountain men." Quint snarled.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

This time though he wasn't angry at me since I didn't kill his brother he was annoyed with the Commander.

We went through our words and then Lexa dismissed everyone.

"We are so not leaving this tent." I said thinking of the huge Gorilla that almost killed us last time.

Lexa laughed and shook her head as she leaned against the table.

"Good plan."

A few hours later we get word back that Quint was dead from a freak Gorilla attack.

I knew there was not going to be a missile this time since Emmerson was dead but we all scattered anyway to be safe. I sat quietly in the bunker with Lexa as she braided my hair and I couldn't help but feel like something wasn't right with all of this.

"Lexa?" I asked quietly.

"Yes?" she said as she paused.

"All of this seems too good to be true…" I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

I couldn't put my finger on it. I just shrugged as I laid down curled into myself.

"Is this reality…" I whispered quietly facing the wall.

_I felt a cold cloth on my head, warm hands brushing my fingers, humming, sobbing, screaming, crying, my name._

_"Clarke." The voice whispered brokenly._

_"You are my weakness."_

I woke up to Lexa sleeping next to me inside the bunker and I shook my head at the weird sensations I had felt. I looked around and it was still light out so I stretched and yawned before making my way up but then I was grabbed from behind and I squealed and laughed as Lexa pulled me down from the ladder for a good morning kiss. I couldn't help but smile at it. Everything is better. I thought.

This is my reality.

Lexa and I walked back to Ton DC hand in hand and I couldn't be happier as she pointed out things and explained what they were. There was nothing to worry about really right.

Bellamy came over the radio. We were going to move out today for the mountain. I couldn't be happier knowing Lexa wasn't going to betray me as before and we would go to Polis after. I was excited. I was about to reply when everything became fuzzy like a bad recording being paused.

_"Clarke…please wake up." _

I held my head again. It was the voice again…

"_Clarke honey…if you can hear us…please…wake up…" _

"Mom?" I said.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me quizzically.

"Is everything okay Clarke?" Lexa asked.

I shook my head feeling my heart beating.

I looked at Lexa as she smiled affectionately at me. My heart dropped in my throat.

"You're not real…none of this is real…" I said with devastation.

Lexa looked at me hurt as she came near me.

"NO STAY BACK!" I screamed.

The dream snapped in half.

_"Someone! Hurry get the Commander!" _

I felt hands holding me down as I thrashed my eye's opening it was Nyko and my mother.

I jolted as my eyes opened in horror.

"You're not real! Get off me! I don't want to be in this dream anymore just let me go!" I screamed.

It was ear piercing.

I took a deep breath as Nyko and my Mother let go of me and I finally blinked more and realized where I was. I was shivering and crying as I took deep gulps of air.

"The medical bay…Ton Dc." I whispered.

I reached up and felt the bandage on my head and then I fell limp on the table as relief washed over me and then I began to sob. My mother rushed over to me brushing the hair out of my face.

"Shhhh its okay Clarke…your back…." I looked up and she was crying just as hard as I was.

"Mom…" I croaked.

"Your back." I looked over and even Nyko had tears swimming in his eyes. He couldn't believe I was alive.

"Mom…how….how long….I don't…" I put my hand on the bandage.

"Emmerson shooting me in the head was real…." I gasped out.

My mom nodded and she grabbed my hand.

"You've been in a coma for 6 months Clarke…it's a miracle you live." Nyko said softly.

I couldn't believe it. This all had to be some sick joke.

There was yelling at the door as someone was running and then a figure stopped in their tracks at the door of the tent.

"Clarke…"

I gasped knowing that voice anywhere.

My eye's brimmed again with more tears.

"Lexa…" I whispered as I saw the disheveled Commander. Her braids messed up and her war paint not even on her face. She wasn't wearing her armor either.

"Your back…" and that's when I saw the first tear leave Lexa's eyes since I've known her.

"I'm back…" I said weakly.


	5. Waking up

**Hey guys! Im backkkkkk –innocent smile- so here is the update for this story:)**

"Leave us." I heard her gravel out. Her voice sounded hoarse and I could see her arms were trembling. Her fists clenched as Nyko bowed. He turned and left the tent and Abby was shocked at what she was seeing. "You can't just come in here and say what you want. This was your fault in the first place." She growled out in my defense. She looked extremely pissed off at Lexa. I wonder what happened these past 6 months while I was trapped in that dream world. I stared into Lexa's eyes and without looking away I touched my mom's arm.

"It's okay…" I said quietly. Abby turned to me and then looked back at Lexa before sighing and getting up to walk past Lexa. Lexa didn't wait for her to leave before she was walking quickly to my side and then her strong arms were around me. My eye's widened as she laid half her body across my front squeezing me for dear life. I let out a gasp as a tear dripped down my face feeling the warmth pool near my ear and then go into my hair. My hands trembled as I touched her cold skin that had been hit by the wind and smelled the vanilla and fire smoke caught in her hair.

I couldn't believe it.

She was breathing hard. I could feel it against my neck and then I realized what it was. She was crying. Her body racked with silent sobs as her shoulders shook up and down I pulled her closer and felt the warm liquid touch my neck and drip down to the sheet beneath me. I couldn't help the tears either.

"I am sorry." I heard her say as her voice cracked.

I shook my head and turned my head to lean my cheek against her hair.

"Don't." I said softly. "I don't blame you Lexa…." I couldn't help my throat closing up. "I was lost in there…everything was so….so much better…" my voice cracked.

She lifted her head to stare at me.

"I blamed myself every day." She said so silently I almost didn't hear her. "We thought you were gone forever…your mother said you were in a coma and that the chances were slim you would wake up the longer you were under….you were under for 6 months Clarke." Her lip quivered as she blinks back tears. "6 months."

"I heard your voice." I whispered back.

I felt Lexa's hands squeeze my arms.

"I talked to you every day….except…today…" she looked away and I realized what was going to happen today.

"Were they going to…" I didn't finish as I saw the slight nod.

I put a hand over my eyes.

"There are so many things we need to talk about." I said.

I heard her laugh a little.

"Yes…we do…there is much that you have missed."

"I never want to sleep again."

I felt the laugh against my neck as she leaned her forehead on my shoulder.

"Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I make no promises…" I said as I opened an eye to smile at her.

She left my shoulder to glare at me until she saw the smile on my face.

"I'll try though."

She made a small smile.

"That's all I ask for."

I look down and then over at the cot a little ways away.

"Can you help me up off this table…I'd like to lie down…" I motion to the cot in the corner.

Lexa shook her head.

"You will be staying in my tent…there is much to talk about…" Lexa looked off to the side and I realized how much time had actually past.

I grab her hand and squeeze it.

"What's happened…."

"It must be fate that you have awakened on this day…" she said not looking at me. "I have prayed for your return for the last couple of months and my prayers were never answered until now when I thought I had to give you up…"

I was stunned at what she was saying.

"I thought I had lost you…and yet here you are when I need you most…" She looked at me then with so much conviction in her eyes "a war is approaching Clarke." Her face was Grimm as I stared her down.

"Who is coming." I asked.

"The Ice Queen." I saw fire then in her eyes as she spat her name.

I sighed. "Never a moment's peace…reality sucks.

Lexa gave me an amused look. "Reality is nothing if not lively."

I rolled my eyes and then she helped me off the table and half carried me out of the hospital tent.

I grunted with the effort feeling my eyes begin to blur.

"What happened to Emmerson." I said. I turned a little to look at Lexa who I was basically hanging off of and the fire in her eyes made her seem like the Commander I remembered. Even if her eyes were red rimmed and blood shot and her sniffles were horrendous from the crying.

"Dead." She said with so much hatred I shivered to think on exactly how dead was dead. I mean knowing Lexa she could mean chopped up into little pieces while he was still alive dead, and she still wouldn't be happy.

I smirked a little shaking my head lightly.

"You just love to kill people." I said.

"He deserved worse than death." She grumbled darkly.

"Well at least I don't have to worry about him shooting anyone else in the head then."

Lexa give me that look. You know. The look everyone gives you when you're trying to be funny but really nothing your saying in that context is remotely funny at the time? Yeah that look.

I sighed and chuckled nervously.

"Too soon?"

"Yes." She said and then she looked ahead.

I didn't fight her on that as she went through the tent flap and helped me into her bed.

"Do not move too much."

I nodded.

She walked over to her table filled with documents and maps and pulled a chair and walked back over setting it down and taking a seat.

"Let us talk Clarke." Lexa said as she stared into my eyes. "There is much I need to tell you so I will go first and then if you're feeling up to it you can continue."

I nodded again and then leaned back into the bed and waited.

"It started right after I said my goodbye." She began. The pain evident on her face.

My face remained neutral. This was going to be a long story. I could tell.

_I saw the look in your eyes when you realized what I had done and I knew you would never forgive me._

"_They made a deal." Your face fell devastated at the turn of events. "How could you I thought you cared!" you yelled at me as tears swam in your eyes. I never forgot._

"_I do care Clarke. But I must do for my people above all else." I remember the suffering I was feeling inside. Leaving you like that. _

"_May we meet again." I knew I didn't deserve it if we did._

_When I turned my back on you all I wanted to do was turn back around and say I changed my mind. But I couldn't. This was the only option without losing more lives in that battle. Until come later I found out what you did. I was astonished. I couldn't believe what I had forced your hand to do. I knew it was my fault. So when time came to find you again I went to your camp. But they said you had not been there since it had happened and you were off somewhere in the woods._

_I was furious. How could you go out there without protection? On your own? I then ordered a legion of my own warriors to search for you as I did. We spent days trying to track you. We couldn't find you Clarke. It had been too many weeks since you had disappeared into the forest that not even my best trackers could find your trail. _

_I wanted to form an alliance again…I wanted to try at least. For my people had heard of your conquest and some were frightened of your power. So that gave me a perfect chance to join again. I wanted to make what I did right if only a little. I knew you would never want me again. One day I had just gone off in a direction and just kept going with my horse. My guards behind me following when suddenly I heard a gunshot, it was close and my blood ran cold as I hopped off my horse and raced into the tree's and that's when I saw you. _

_Laying there, face down with blood pooling quickly. And a little distance away was Emmerson. He was smiling with glee at what he did and all I could do was scream for my men and they raced after him and I leant down looking at you. You weren't moving and I lifted you gently to turn you over and I ripped off my Commanders cape and I tore it._

Lexa looked at me then and I realized what that truly meant to her to have to do that. "It was the only thing I had." She said softly. I nodded for her to continue.

_I wrap it around your head as tightly as I could to stop the bleeding. Then I took you into my arms as the men came back with an unconscious Emmerson._

_I ordered one to ride as fast as they could to your village and ask for your mom and then I pulled you to me and screamed for the pig to be tied up dragged behind our horses. I took off before my other guard could follow with the worm behind him and I rushed as quickly as I could to Ton DC, to Nyko. When I got there your mother had arrived and she rushed you into the tent. They spent 10 hours in there with you Clarke._

_When she finally came out she told me the news. You were in a Coma and she didn't know when you would wake up. I felt loss, devastation, anger, bloodlust. I turned around and screamed at my men to hoist Emmerson up in the town square. I was going to do this myself. I went to my tent and stood there as I ripped off my armor and tattered commander's cape and just ripped everything off. I wiped my face clean as well as the blood soaked hands, covered in your blood. It was like a tidal wave when they first began, the tears. They just fell and I could do nothing to stop the onslaught. I screamed loudly as I shoved the basin of water that was now tainted with your blood off the table from whence it stood and then I turned back around grabbed my dagger and walked out to the town square where many gathered. _

_I looked on as Emmerson groaned and coughed up blood from how he was dragged through the forest behind a horse. I pulled my dagger and walked up to him not saying a word._

"_My death means nothing since the princess has died you can do what you will but my revenge has been satisfied."_

_I stabbed him in the leg and he screamed like a little girl. I ripped it forward. He howled louder._

I looked at Lexa as she stopped and she gripped her knees with as much conviction as she could while staring at her hands.

"I'm glad he's dead Lexa. You shouldn't feel ashamed on how he was killed." I said softly.

Lexa looked at me in shock. "But I thought you did not like our ways of dealing with punishment." She said quietly as she stared into my eyes.

"I think I'm starting to understand why you do it." I said coldly thinking about Emmerson.

"He deserved every feeling of pain you gave him."

I looked up and Lexa was smiling at me with appreciation.

I chuckled.

"Things sure have changed…your showing so many emotions I can't keep up." I smiled at Lexa.

"Yes. Well…6 months without you would do that to me."

My eyes widened.

"Of course I would never act like this outside of this tent." She said with extreme seriousness.

"Of course not." I rolled my eyes.

Lexa was about to continue her story when Indra came through the tent flap.

"Heda…our scouts have returned." She said dryly.

Lexa's mask returned and she faced Indra.

"Take them to the war room. I will be there shortly." Lexa went to get up and I grabbed her hand as Indra left.

"I'm coming with you." I said.

Lexa looked at me and shook her head.

"It is better if you stay here. Your mother would have my head if she found you walking around out of bed after only being awake a few hours."

I glowered up at her and she squeezed my hand.

"You must become strong again Clarke. I will need you this coming battle. I will tell you all about the meeting when I come back and I will finish my tale."

I didn't have the strength to continue arguing with her so I just laid farther back and sighed my consent.

"Can you let someone know that I'm rather hungry? I'd like to eat and some water too."

Lexa nodded her confirmation before making her way out of the tent.

"How am I going to tell her…that I found her in my dreams." I let out a heavier sigh.

"It's better than dying I guess." I said quietly.


End file.
